Efigenio R. Barrios 1931-2013

My father’s Eulogy written by my brilliant sister Aileen:

All of you who have known my father only knew pieces or fragments of who he was.  Most of you were fortunate enough to know him during different segments of your lives — times he has helped you, times he has shared in your joys and your sorrows.  If you didn’t look beneath the surface of his actions or words you would say he was not an easy man to know. He was a private man.  But, He bore no one malice, wished no one ill, and he abhorred injustice to the oppressed and unfortunate.  And the irrefutable truth that all of you know about my dad is that he was generous in all the ways he was able to be – sometimes generous to a fault.  And I’m pretty sure he never let anyone of you down.

For myself, I’ve known him for almost a half a century….almost – two days short of 50 years.  I’m blessed to have experienced who he was when he was with me and I’m fortunate that I remember his love and care as a child.  He gave me the security to be the brat that I was and sheltered me from knowing what it feels like to be hungry and homeless….and unloved.  He taught me many things about people and places – myself… about life.  When I wanted to fly, he stood firmly on the ground hoping to see me soar high, but he stayed in sight in case I fell.  When I floundered, he was there to pull me in from the chaos and give me safe haven.  When I succeeded, he gave me quiet praise.  He only needed to give me that smile and I knew I did well – that was enough for me.  And he only needed to give me that slight shake of the head for me to know his disappointment.  I always knew in my heart where I stood with my Dad.  And I can’t say that I’ve had that connection with anybody else.

He gave his family 100% and when he was able he gave 200%. He did far more for me than I could ever explain.  All I could say to you is that when I think of my father now, I feel love, contentment, light-heartedness and joy.  If I feel grief, it’s only for the words I wasn’t able to tell him or for deeds I’ve not be able to complete while he was alive.

My dad died peacefully and quietly early on a Saturday morning.  Though his death was untimely, he left us in such a way as to reassure us he knew it was his time and knew he fulfilled his purpose in life and was ready to reap the fruits of his labor on a better plane. And the last expression on his face was as if there was a spirit with him to guide him from this world to the next, just as his heart stopped beating.

My dad had dementia.  Towards the end of his life, he lost precious memories of you.  If I could give each of those memories substance, I’d call them marbles.  So, I could say that toward the end, my dad lost his marbles. But that’s not the case now…my dad has all his marbles back and I firmly believe that my Dad now remembers all of you – the joys and sorrows of your lives – times that you have shared with him.

So to all of you I say – thank you for your part in making my dad’s life as rich and as full as it was.